L.A. Vacation 4 : Endgame

Maybe I should have posted this sooner. I've been back for a week now and things are foggy....
One of my stand up comedy gigs was at Spaceland opening for Neil Hamburger. For such a desperate depressed guy, that guy has really helped a brother out time and time again over the years. How did it go? Great! Super well! And it was quite a strong bill.
Brody Stevens blew my mind with his intense inside riffing, I wanted to tell him how much I enjoyed his set but I was kinda scared of him:
http://www.brodystevens.com/

And there were also the fine talents of Keith Lowell Jensen:
http://www.myspace.com/keithlowelljensen

And *MAJOR ENTERTAINER* mike h whose new songs get catchier and catchier, he even sang a duet with Tom Green:
http://www.myspace.com/mikeh

Afterwards Mike H stood between Tom Green and I and said that we both couldn't be more different from each other. I asked Mike to elaborate but he wouldn't.
I got to talking about the nature of being onstage with Keith Lowell Jensen's pal whose name I tragically forgot!!! Sorry. I told him that I was nervous- it was a good bill, and luckily I used the energy for the act. Keith's pal said I looked confident. Maybe being onstage so much in the past has helped. However. Being up there alone telling jokes is such a different beast, it takes adjusting, and this pal of Keith's really knew that, he had performed for years with a hardcore band and, I think, even a circus sideshow, so making the comedy switch is not always so seamless. It can be loooonely!
Tonight it only felt lonely just before hitting the stage...


If you are ever in LA stay at The Hollywood Inn.
Kidding!
read some reviews here

Bandmate Scott and I had accommodation shenanigans in that, through freak occurrences, we almost had no place to go. Luckily, a super kind benefactor bought us a room for 8 nites at the Hollywood Inn which sure beats staying out on the street! This benefactor has our eternal gratitude!
I do not want to sully this gratitude in any way but I've got to tell you tales. When our toilet stopped working the manager blamed us for it-twice! When the phones stopped working the manager simply said, "No outgoing calls."
Blood stains on the walls.
Numerous shady men appeared at this hotel with shady much younger women.
Here's the capper, my Toronto agent wanted me to tape an audition for Rogers (who, in a separate matter, were racking up my phone bill repeatedly calling about a mildly late internet bill) because the casting director asked for me specifically. I didn't have a camera or a computer! So I had to scramble, as well as prep my audition: very stressful. A rather lovely girl (sigh) that I'd just recently met asked a friend of hers to tape it for me. Success! End of story? No. Now the director wanted to talk to me on Skype. At 7 AM. More scrambling. More stress. Friends loaned me their Skype. I checked it out at the hotel and everything was working fine. Come the morning of the interview nothing worked, Scott helped me out, we tried everything. It was no use. Standing at the front desk was another sad sack with a non-functioning laptop and no desk clerk in sight. The hotel had somehow turned off their wireless. They also knew that I had an important interview that would gain me hundreds or more of dollars.
And as time slowly ran out, the audition people said something to the effect of, "We'll keep you in mind for future roles..."
Nearly in tears I stammered, "I am on vacation...I have done everything in my power...let me run to Starbucks."
Which I did. I did my audition all stressed out in the middle of a Starbucks.
What a miserable couple of days. Thankfully I have a great and understanding agent!
Did I get the role?
No.
I heard that I lost it due to the insanity of that morning.
That is how the acting business works, by the way. They can always find somebody else, so if you can't make the audition happen then, well, tough cookie...

Okay, here's a happy note: my pal Simone took me for a workout with Richard Simmons.


He's a hoot!!! Sometimes it was hard to work out for laughing!
He commented on my heart shaped sweat stain and noted my distinct lack of rhythm. As an ice breaker, he tried guessing my favourite subject in school to no avail. "Chemistry? Math? Biology?" A few minutes later he asked the group if there were any singers in attendance.
Simone yelled, "Robert's a singer!"
"Oh, what do you sing?"
I retorted, "Anything without rhythm."

My pals Marika got me and a date some tickets to see John Carpenter speak at the massive and legendary Egyptian Theatre. I am a big John carpenter fan, however, they didn't even screen a 35 MM film copy of Escape From New York: it was blu-ray!!! During the Q and A, I wanted to ask a question that had been bugging me for years (What was his synopsis for Halloween 7 with Jamie Lee Curtis that was most unfortuantely rejected for being too weird?)but there were just too many questions, including a woman who just wanted to know how to be in his movies. As he left, a massive throng followed him with autograph pens in hand.
L.A. I love it. Sure it can be desperate. It can be kinda self-absorbed and kooky but so am I.
Coming back was hard. I packed a sweater but was still shivering.
My allergies kicked in badly when I landed in Toronto which helped to make me very depressed.
My ex sent me a nice e mail, it had been 8 months since telling her that I needed space to get over the relationship, the email was nice but it messed me up, I'd greatly inflated a "How are you?" in my mind and had difficulty in composing a reply.
Leaving the house, I'd smile at girls to no response, in talking to them aloofness reigned ("Meh...I'm on facebook..."), but that happens to all genders and persuasions in this city, I know, I've asked around.
I fell into a morass of self-pity, this time with confidence in my abilities.
People have been telling me that I should live in LA but it's just not that easy to move there. And, I wonder, would it make a positive difference on my career? An outlet?
The positive thing is that finally after a few days of being back I saw my pals and it was nice....
I will forge ahead as it is all I can do.