Congested and tired which means that I am on edge. Yesterday I went to the post office. I went in looking at the employee thinking, "You better not blah blah blah" or "If you do blah blah blah, I'll be so pissed!" And the guy was actually super sweet and helpful! I could have killed him. What are those kind of counter-active thoughts called? I hate having them.
Doing a blog sweep yesterday I went in being too hard on myself. Not too much was swept (elements of libel). I left some elements of morbid self-pity and bloated self-importance. Blogs really help to facilitate bloated self-importance. Look at me! Look at me! Hey everybody, look at me! I can wiggle my hips! Whoah! A tree just fell in the forest. Maybe the word 'blog' should only be used in the singular. Blog really help to facilitate self-importance. Thaaaat's better.
Ya know, I think I am fucking coo-coo. Reflection and sparked reminders. Mental elements that show that I am kinda, well, crazy. Sigh. Plum loco.
I'm seeing character traits in myself that I despise, that really need work. I am certainly better than I was, but my warped social instinct needs to get straightened. The fact that I can get so defensive. I am certainly less passive-aggressive than I used to be but I have been seeing taunting glimmers of it lately.
When I feel socially awkward I must gab less and listen more, unless I am cornered by someone dull then I should just jet!
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