Tuesday, February 16, 2010


The other nite I went to a great art opening of my old pal Shayne Ehman. I miss that guy, so good to see him, a pure soul who doesn't get hung up like I sometimes do on 'making it', naw, he makes it- great art, that is. I hope that while he's here we can do some collabs again.
Anyways, there I was at the opening hanging out with another pal who was feeling social anxiety. Openings at the best of times can do that. Back in Vancouver what I found most artful about art openings was the trajectory of eyes criss-crossing tha room trying to avoid all contact. I was once at a party with a friend who had social anxiety and so I called out, "Who's socially anxious?" and numerous hands shot up. It's a common thing.
I get it, too. People can think that I am so comfy and outward but, I get it. "If I just keep smiling and talk loudly no one will know that my heart is palpatating."
And at this opening I was chuckling to myself, see, this one socially anxious pal, we had some mended fences, for a long time if we saw each other out and about we'd both get socially anxious cuz we weren't talking. But time and maturity and a real implemented obligation for me to keep my side of the street clean solved that and we are quite comfortable.
I was really chuckling to myself because behind this pal at the opening was someone not wanting to talk to me and making me...yup, you got it...socially anxious. I said hi to that person and it was awkward and brief. It was a someone who a few weeks ago gave me nasty mixed signals and I called that person on those signals and was angry via e mail and that was that. See, if someone does screwy stuff to me I call them on it and then do my best not to have it in my life. I don't need drama. "I'm too old for this shit!" Heh heh, but young-ish! I get all cock-eyed at people who say life is a game. Are they going to trivialise life that much? Game over!
In my attempts to not have drama in my life and to call people on their bullshit in a reasonable manner, I still risk new social awkwardness which equals drama. I kinda forgot about that. Haven't really had that in a while as I am on a new path that is trying to be more positive and tries to judge others less. Yet when I see something that is a bunch of phony baloney I call do my best to call it. I'd want others to call me on my bullshit so that I can be a better person. Hmm, how to deal?


ameliaaah said...

social anxiety! especially at



talking to someone you admire
in a room full of people you kind of know but none you know super well

when you are with people and you are trying to start dancing at a party

on the subway when you run into someone you don't really know very well

actually any situation where you run into someone you don't really know very well in a situation you wouldn't expect to see each other in and after the first five minutes of being like hey I know you! you realize that you don't actually know each other and you start looking around at stuff that isn't the other person

hi robert dayton dot blogspot dot com!

Robert Dayton, Junior said...

Now can we find any family examples? I can think of the drunk uncle at wedding example as that is the most recent form of anxiety as I yelled, "Don't grab me!"
Hi ameliaaah!