Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Bassist needed for intense Toronto-based 4 piece rock act. Style, substance, and ability to tour a must. Drop me a jot if this applies to you or anyone you know....

I am serious about this.
The act was getting a good response, call me 'self-important' but in today's tepid climate, this music is needed.
I will not post on Craigslist due to the fact that I am not desperate and have some semblance of dignity.
(if the above pic is you, do not apply)

I approach this city with a renewed confidence and vigour, though total stalls and rejection occasionally sucker-punch me.
It is only a test to see how much I can handle before I break.
Monday started with promise, my own tenacity amazes myself sometimes, how I can just put myself back together, this promise was dashed for a few reasons, the day turned utterly lousy, but I just kept right on going, check this potential suitor text message- she had long brown hair and a penchance for dictionaries: "I'm really busy. I'm sorry. Honestly I don't really have time for dates right now." I didn't ask to be single. Next up was sodas with pals, which made things better, at the end of the night a pretty girl was looking at me from across the room, I steeled myself and said hello to her, she said she was looking at me because I looked like a child rapist/killer from a movie she just saw, I kept my dignity and told her directly that it is probably not a nice thing for one to hear.
That day I had awoken full of joy and gusto which proved to me that I am not depressed, just that certain rejections (in all sorts of facets, such as artistic) affected me.
When I'd tell some people afterwards what had happened they'd feel a need to offer this sort of poor hard knuckle advice of 'suck it up', 'keep a going', 'it's all 90 percent rejection', 'don't take it personally' which caused me to wonder, "Do these people even stop to actually feel things?" It was hanging out with close pals the following eve that moved me further away from the noose (though a voice in the back of my head asks, "Is it really worth it to keep going?").
When I went off on my lil trip last month my confidence returned refreshed (a confidence that had previously waned for a few reasons) and now that I am back, these are just numerous little karate chops at it, trying to break me and test my resilience.
Yes, it is important to make contact, especially when you think someone may be looking at you.
I can say that I've had a world of such opportunities: missed and not missed but, more often than not, it is the confidence that grabs the latter. I've talked to many female friends in this burg who feel unattractive because no one even notices them and they are nice looking women!- maybe folks are just too caught up in their bullshit hustle bustle, I dunno, maybe it's people's fear. Does it hurt for someone to simply say, "You've got good style"?
On the topic of style, someone gave me weak advice to dress differently 'even as an experiment' and it just rings false and rather desperate (not to mention that it may have been a knock on my long cultivated appearance). Can you imagine? I automatically thought that if I'd taken that advice years ago I'd never have met some of my amazing friends and women I'd dated and fallen in love with, not to mention the fact that it'd cause one to feel extremely awkward and self-conscious. I hate to fall on appearances, but it is a mode of attraction that can lead honestly to personality. High standards must be maintained! Would I really want to attract someone that'd be into my new disguise? Gawwwd, what would we talk about? Careers? Here's a shit question: "What do you do?" Oh, and how much do you make? Sayonara. Let's call it a screening device (side note with wounded pride: as attractive and fascinating as the gals from my shitty shitty day were, their very natures were adequate enough as a screener, a 'I deserve -and have had- better' kinda nip-in-the-bud). I don't understand the taboo with one night stands, I've had more than my share but ask other folks and it's all poo-pooed, "Oh noooo, never!" However, I will say from experience, I'd never want a one night stand with someone I could barely stand! Standards must be maintained.
Forgive the lack of brevity but these are my thoughts on a day where the grey clouds are a little more busted and clarity is more apparent.

Oh, and we need a bassist. Thanks.


Stacy said...

I enjoyed this post Robert - for a plethora of reasons.

Robert Dayton, Junior said...

Thanks Stacy, I am intrigued by what reasons but, alas, may never know!