Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Focused? Oh yeah, I am FOCUSED! Focused on checking my e mail every two fucking minutes...

Refine that!

I have recently decided to drop all current creative projects and focus all of my energies on Facebook.

Or have I, Chrissssst? These laser beams are shooting out of my tips, even while sick, they keep coming. Lonelier than ever, solution: work alone. Confidence comes running back into my bloodstream, still lonely.

Here's a brand new in-depth interview with me, makes me look like I do and think about shit:


Back to work/sleep/awakedness.

Monday, November 29, 2010

The Canadian Romantic Episode Two

Filmed them in a row, working up a glow...
Feel free to subscribe, imbibe on em, share em, trade with friends, there are now two.

With all projects I say of late, "What's the use?" then all of a sudden put a new vid up once a week. Something is driving me. Friday night, I was cornered by a friend who started talking about me being esoteric with a limited audience. I did not bring the topic up, I just wanted to have a good time at a show, take my mind off of my problems. I became depressed (aren't I always? this is the first heaaaavy break-up where I did not choose the meds: wise decision?). He saw that I was becoming depressed. He kept on talking. A woman wanted to say goodbye to me and apologised profusely for interrupting, my eyes said, "Rescue me from this." Finally my bladder spoke an interior monologue and I dashed to the WC for my freedom.

Saturday, I did as little as humanly possible (Friday night's conversation stuck with me).

Sunday, I attended a group art show of which I am a part, Index G, large prints made and for sale. A fellow artist was telling me how this may be the wrong city for him as well and he's had astological cartography to prove it! In New York City, people like Roy Scheider -fresh from tennis and with a much taller woman- would come up to him thinking they knew him (Buck Henry as well). I may need to do this astrological cartography.
Then I attended a launch for a book of which I am a small part, I co-conducted a lengthy Kim Deitch interview:

I had bitten my tongue, the very tip, and felt it all last week. Healing now. Sore throat today. Home from work. Nothing will get done. It's nap time.

Lately I've been thinking, "These may be my lost years."
Then I think, "Naw, I landed a role in an office supply commercial."

Please do not respond by saying, "I saw that!" Granted the more it runs, the more money I make and it was a real hoot to shoot. The following video is more meaningful, but perhaps it is far more esoteric than whoring laptops to the masses...

Monday, November 22, 2010

The Canadian Romantic

I just don't know.
Ever since I got back from LA it's been one thing after another, nothing related to health or money fortunately, but many rejections in all manners and disappointments (the latest: a bailing on the Canned Hamm X Mas show in Vancouver at the last second, let's just say that Canned Hamm is pretty much finished after ten years and I am obviously sad about it). Some say that maybe I am just not being patient about these things (err, my Toronto band has been dormant for a year- is that patient enough?). I do have to be careful to not let my mourning fall into self-pity and victim mentalities. Perhaps the key isn't so much about patience but learning to let go and listen to the universe because I am starting to feel that I am really being told something right now.
That said, while these things happen I still have some perverse masochism to forge ahead on projects (revised proposed title for my book project: "The Lonely Bed").
Here's my latest. "The Canadian Romantic."
Shot and Edited By Craig Irving, bless him.
This is episode one, more to come on a regular basis.
If you like it go on YouTube, subscribe, leave comments, vote, and share it with your pals, link it up, yeah, bless ya.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Bassist needed for intense Toronto-based 4 piece rock act. Style, substance, and ability to tour a must. Drop me a jot if this applies to you or anyone you know....

I am serious about this.
The act was getting a good response, call me 'self-important' but in today's tepid climate, this music is needed.
I will not post on Craigslist due to the fact that I am not desperate and have some semblance of dignity.
(if the above pic is you, do not apply)

I approach this city with a renewed confidence and vigour, though total stalls and rejection occasionally sucker-punch me.
It is only a test to see how much I can handle before I break.
Monday started with promise, my own tenacity amazes myself sometimes, how I can just put myself back together, this promise was dashed for a few reasons, the day turned utterly lousy, but I just kept right on going, check this potential suitor text message- she had long brown hair and a penchance for dictionaries: "I'm really busy. I'm sorry. Honestly I don't really have time for dates right now." I didn't ask to be single. Next up was sodas with pals, which made things better, at the end of the night a pretty girl was looking at me from across the room, I steeled myself and said hello to her, she said she was looking at me because I looked like a child rapist/killer from a movie she just saw, I kept my dignity and told her directly that it is probably not a nice thing for one to hear.
That day I had awoken full of joy and gusto which proved to me that I am not depressed, just that certain rejections (in all sorts of facets, such as artistic) affected me.
When I'd tell some people afterwards what had happened they'd feel a need to offer this sort of poor hard knuckle advice of 'suck it up', 'keep a going', 'it's all 90 percent rejection', 'don't take it personally' which caused me to wonder, "Do these people even stop to actually feel things?" It was hanging out with close pals the following eve that moved me further away from the noose (though a voice in the back of my head asks, "Is it really worth it to keep going?").
When I went off on my lil trip last month my confidence returned refreshed (a confidence that had previously waned for a few reasons) and now that I am back, these are just numerous little karate chops at it, trying to break me and test my resilience.
Yes, it is important to make contact, especially when you think someone may be looking at you.
I can say that I've had a world of such opportunities: missed and not missed but, more often than not, it is the confidence that grabs the latter. I've talked to many female friends in this burg who feel unattractive because no one even notices them and they are nice looking women!- maybe folks are just too caught up in their bullshit hustle bustle, I dunno, maybe it's people's fear. Does it hurt for someone to simply say, "You've got good style"?
On the topic of style, someone gave me weak advice to dress differently 'even as an experiment' and it just rings false and rather desperate (not to mention that it may have been a knock on my long cultivated appearance). Can you imagine? I automatically thought that if I'd taken that advice years ago I'd never have met some of my amazing friends and women I'd dated and fallen in love with, not to mention the fact that it'd cause one to feel extremely awkward and self-conscious. I hate to fall on appearances, but it is a mode of attraction that can lead honestly to personality. High standards must be maintained! Would I really want to attract someone that'd be into my new disguise? Gawwwd, what would we talk about? Careers? Here's a shit question: "What do you do?" Oh, and how much do you make? Sayonara. Let's call it a screening device (side note with wounded pride: as attractive and fascinating as the gals from my shitty shitty day were, their very natures were adequate enough as a screener, a 'I deserve -and have had- better' kinda nip-in-the-bud). I don't understand the taboo with one night stands, I've had more than my share but ask other folks and it's all poo-pooed, "Oh noooo, never!" However, I will say from experience, I'd never want a one night stand with someone I could barely stand! Standards must be maintained.
Forgive the lack of brevity but these are my thoughts on a day where the grey clouds are a little more busted and clarity is more apparent.

Oh, and we need a bassist. Thanks.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Hallow-recap and upcoming Henri Faberge show!

Dress up for Halloween?
Listen, honey, once you become a costume you never need wear one again, I put enough effort on stage and in the day-to-day attire anyways....

Saturday night Tim McCready had a pre-Halloween party and organised a performance of sacred harp singing! Sacred Harp singing! WOW! It is a type of singing that is so unearthly yet meant for the untrained singer. I found it a challenge. I mean I'm a rock n roll singer! But it felt good to get out of the comfort zone and do this kind of choral singing with ten people.

The same could be said for Halloween night. Getting into a zone and out of the comfort zone. It was my first collaboration with W.A. Davison- though we have been friends for a couple of years now and I dig his musical stylez. It was improvisatory, he used snippets of Halloween records altered along with keys.
This was done in a 'haunted house' set up by Henri Faberge, Juliann Wilding, and Joele Walinga. I love these guys and love being a part of their activities, they have good energy and good ideas! The house looked wild! Long red drapes for the entrance. Red lighting. Containers filled with teeth and such. Eerie performances.
I think our piece came off well, I lay naked under a sheer blue sheet on a creepy child's bed that was set up for the house. I imagined myself as a little girl who locked her mother in the basement, then as a creature who makes snakes that form occult formations come out of people's mouths . I could not see a thing but heard some idle chatter: grrrr, but was told after that it went well. Video soon?
A spur of the moment improvised garage rock jam happened in the basement with a member of The Bicycles, an intriguing woman, myself, and Lorenz Peter of Corpusse- man, I forgot about his garage organ roots, thought he was all about space synths! Lorenz and I had never jammed before and we'd known each other foreverrrr.
I asked people for song ideas and started singing about hairless cats, garbage removal, and gingivitis.
What a night.
One guy was dressed as Gary Wilson.

Back to Henri. He's got a big show on Thursday!Total multi-media! I'm in it as a left wing ranting hippy, check this info:
A theatrical serialization of Henri Fabergé's early years.

EPISODE II: Thursday, November 4th
Arbor Room (Hart House, U of T)



and many more!