Friday, December 31, 2010


This is going to be the best 2011 ever!

The last 2011 sucked.

Many people are really hoping that this year is better than last year, well, it is actually up to us to make it a better year. Us, and The Illuminati, of course.

Monday, December 27, 2010


Saskatoon? Yes, I was there for a few days, yes. And it was. It was. Homogeneity. Yet in the old shops there lingered items. One shop had a knit thingy like the multicoloured start of a knit afghan shawl, deep V woolly band with fringe in red, blue, yellow, and white. One dollar. Same shop had a VHS entitled Primal: an instinct for the original. It's for hairstyling, upon watching it all I got was a slightly fuzzy taping of CTV. In another charity shop was a VHS called Glitterball, if only, it's a British children's movie about aliens. Same shop: first Care Bears LP by Flo and Eddie (Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan) of The Turtles. Canned Hamm performed at the Bubblegum Achievement awards in LA a few years ago where Volman and Kaylan got an award for their work on The Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake. Somewhere there's a photo of me with Mark Volman. Wish I knew where.

What else did I get in Saskatoon? A book by one of my fave sci-fi authors, Michael Moorcock, about space-rock band Hawkwind, "Rocking on the edge of time. Rock and roll sci-fi."

A pivotal Brian Aldiss sci-fi novel entitled Cryptozoic which is a psychosexual thriller about man and time.

A hyper-stylized graphic novel from the late 70s entitled Psychorock by Macedo, sci-fi glammed out Euro fantasies with imagery that looks like it came off a fifth dimensional van.

A rare 1967 romance comic with the glossiest pages entitled Mod Love, hyper-stylized as well, like the Yellow Submarine movie, better than Peter Max. Link to pages here:

The very 80s post-apocalytptic comic miniseries Slash Maraud with an Eastwoodian hero and a blue haired fighting female in a zebra print leotard, people on the fringes of society:

An issue of Hex, which was the series where Wild West comic book hero Jonah Hex gets zoomed into an unreadable post-apocalyptic future.
Jack Kirby taking on the kung-fu craze in issue three of Richard Dragon, it's as good as one would hope even though he didn't write it (Denny O'Neill did).
A Canadian comic book entitled Super Shamou that warns against solvent huffing in the North West Territories.
A Canadian comic book entitled Binkly and Doinkel that teaches children about harmful chemicals. This was actually also a series of televison PSAs (I wish these were up on YouTube) as well as a puppet show that I saw as a small child. Binkly and Doinkel were aliens and the comic book still looks great!

If anyone wants further details, let me know.
Otherwise, here's a video:

Thursday, December 23, 2010


New vid, every week, if you feel lonely, sad, et al this X Mas, you are not alone...maybe this vid will help.
Feel free as well to drop me a line if you do feel that way, I understand:

Saturday, December 18, 2010


Well, actually my character The Canadian Romantic:

As well my interview with the talented Brian Barlow of The Loner Show is up at Hunter and Cook. It's all about the many characters that he has created and how the last Loner Show is this Sunday nite at The Rivoli. 5 bux. I will be performing , along with over 60 other people for a minute each, as The Canadian Romantic:

That show will be wild!

This Tonetta vid was posted after trying to call him at 5 PM all week as he was going to come on my The Canadian Romantic show, he became elusive then this vid just appeared. Weird day today. Before that vid appeared I found out about Captain Beefheart dying, I knew it was coming as he'd had advanced MS for quite a while but it still hit. Just can't stop listening to Beefheart, the sonic tones of "Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller)" (my fave) are just so overpowering. I took him for granted for so long but just so pivotal, so pivotal. I remember as a teeny bopper in Northern BC (pre-internet) reading weird allusions to him and wondering what the deal was, ole but needed it, had it on cassette, went with my Mom, ROCKING POETIC INTENSITY, I was looking for wilder and wilder sounds and there they were, showing possibilities, so many, he even dressed well, a personal style God: his moustache, tortoise shell specs, I once found a scarf just like on the cover of Bongo Fury, so bummed when that went missing, even his paintings helped show me viscerality.
Please share your personal thoughts on Beefheart, love to hear them....

Monday, December 13, 2010


I almost forgot to post this...The Ossington (61 Ossington) asked me back and it was organised last minute so that I could play my X Mas records, yayyyyyyy!I just bought two new ones: The Rotary Connection (psych-soul) and Spinal Tap!
Tuesday, Dec 13th, 9 PM. My fave vid store Eyesore Cinema is donating prizes: if you bring some non-perishables for the food bank you increase your likelihood of winning...

As well The Canadian Romantic will be appearing for his Midnite Candlelight recitation. Oh, and here's his new video:

Just as I was about to go on meds, I feel like I have turned a page recently. May it continue. Strange these feelings when even confidence is being restored. Oh, those pendulum swings of ego manifestations from self-grandeur to self-pity. Numerous baseball bat hits to its' kneecaps the last couple of months, some of which have been detailed, some of which I won't...In terms of female relations, I've often feel like saying lately, "I deserve far better than this. I do not deserve to be treated this way. In fact, no one should be treated this way." I made rules the previous week of no asking girls out, keeping away, they have to come to me for I do not want to be hurt anymore. I have too much to offer for that kind of run-around. Rules break, eye contact is made, I have an amourous character, is this wise?
However, I may just be crazy, deluded. With hopeful growth. My name is Jesus Christ and I will fuck you, skip the martyrdom.
Part of my pain is that I have had mountains and lost them. When an ex (who looks like a red-headed Caroline Munro but better: by the way, people have all this celeb lust and there are people just walking down the street who look far better, dress better and are probably way more interesting than most celebs) that deep love and laughs were shared with, bringing out each other's good qualities, well, of course I will feel deep loss. Mind you, with the previous ex I wondered if I'd date again and it got better (with a former child actress rebound on E thrown in-between of course). So deep pain from what I've had (gone to never return), more gratitude of what I've had, the life I've lived, what I have, the gifts I've been given.
I'm doing okay. My current vibe: fuck it.
I don't care about my needs! I'm simply more into delivering the goods to others right now. And if they reject it then, well, it just wasn't right or it is their loss, not mine.
Who knows what is to come?
I'd been pretty depressed, sad, and lonely, so encountering other folks who are in a bit of that same boat who say, "Those new vids made me less depressed, etcetera" makes me realise what I have to do and why I have to do it. If I can get it to more folks, even better. Of course, if I can also make people less lonely and depressed by using my other gift (my large penis) then even better.
I don't really need to exist in my own head all the time, thank you very much.
Sure hope this feeling lasts.
Hey, here's something, I went to a party yesterday for a charity. It was filled with people that went through unimaginable horrors and had to escape to Canada. They were laughing and had dignity.
Cherish your day.

Monday, December 6, 2010

The Canadian Romantic with guest Henri Faberge

A new video. Find The Canadian Romantic on Facebook as well:
Our first guest Henri Faberge who has been doing a monthly residency of rather ambitious productions at Hart House of late. The Canadian romantic is midly catty, perhaps, he is threatened?

Friday, December 3, 2010


Last night: riding my bike to a date that all signs show is not going to go well- it's out of my hands and opting out is bad form-it eventually goes worse than imagined. En route my mind races back to when I was in a relationship and wishing that I could be there again. But I can't. No use living in the past. This is now. No other options but the present. I am locked in and can't get out.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Focused? Oh yeah, I am FOCUSED! Focused on checking my e mail every two fucking minutes...

Refine that!

I have recently decided to drop all current creative projects and focus all of my energies on Facebook.

Or have I, Chrissssst? These laser beams are shooting out of my tips, even while sick, they keep coming. Lonelier than ever, solution: work alone. Confidence comes running back into my bloodstream, still lonely.

Here's a brand new in-depth interview with me, makes me look like I do and think about shit:

Back to work/sleep/awakedness.

Monday, November 29, 2010

The Canadian Romantic Episode Two

Filmed them in a row, working up a glow...
Feel free to subscribe, imbibe on em, share em, trade with friends, there are now two.

With all projects I say of late, "What's the use?" then all of a sudden put a new vid up once a week. Something is driving me. Friday night, I was cornered by a friend who started talking about me being esoteric with a limited audience. I did not bring the topic up, I just wanted to have a good time at a show, take my mind off of my problems. I became depressed (aren't I always? this is the first heaaaavy break-up where I did not choose the meds: wise decision?). He saw that I was becoming depressed. He kept on talking. A woman wanted to say goodbye to me and apologised profusely for interrupting, my eyes said, "Rescue me from this." Finally my bladder spoke an interior monologue and I dashed to the WC for my freedom.

Saturday, I did as little as humanly possible (Friday night's conversation stuck with me).

Sunday, I attended a group art show of which I am a part, Index G, large prints made and for sale. A fellow artist was telling me how this may be the wrong city for him as well and he's had astological cartography to prove it! In New York City, people like Roy Scheider -fresh from tennis and with a much taller woman- would come up to him thinking they knew him (Buck Henry as well). I may need to do this astrological cartography.
Then I attended a launch for a book of which I am a small part, I co-conducted a lengthy Kim Deitch interview:

I had bitten my tongue, the very tip, and felt it all last week. Healing now. Sore throat today. Home from work. Nothing will get done. It's nap time.

Lately I've been thinking, "These may be my lost years."
Then I think, "Naw, I landed a role in an office supply commercial."

Please do not respond by saying, "I saw that!" Granted the more it runs, the more money I make and it was a real hoot to shoot. The following video is more meaningful, but perhaps it is far more esoteric than whoring laptops to the masses...

Monday, November 22, 2010

The Canadian Romantic

I just don't know.
Ever since I got back from LA it's been one thing after another, nothing related to health or money fortunately, but many rejections in all manners and disappointments (the latest: a bailing on the Canned Hamm X Mas show in Vancouver at the last second, let's just say that Canned Hamm is pretty much finished after ten years and I am obviously sad about it). Some say that maybe I am just not being patient about these things (err, my Toronto band has been dormant for a year- is that patient enough?). I do have to be careful to not let my mourning fall into self-pity and victim mentalities. Perhaps the key isn't so much about patience but learning to let go and listen to the universe because I am starting to feel that I am really being told something right now.
That said, while these things happen I still have some perverse masochism to forge ahead on projects (revised proposed title for my book project: "The Lonely Bed").
Here's my latest. "The Canadian Romantic."
Shot and Edited By Craig Irving, bless him.
This is episode one, more to come on a regular basis.
If you like it go on YouTube, subscribe, leave comments, vote, and share it with your pals, link it up, yeah, bless ya.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Bassist needed for intense Toronto-based 4 piece rock act. Style, substance, and ability to tour a must. Drop me a jot if this applies to you or anyone you know....

I am serious about this.
The act was getting a good response, call me 'self-important' but in today's tepid climate, this music is needed.
I will not post on Craigslist due to the fact that I am not desperate and have some semblance of dignity.
(if the above pic is you, do not apply)

I approach this city with a renewed confidence and vigour, though total stalls and rejection occasionally sucker-punch me.
It is only a test to see how much I can handle before I break.
Monday started with promise, my own tenacity amazes myself sometimes, how I can just put myself back together, this promise was dashed for a few reasons, the day turned utterly lousy, but I just kept right on going, check this potential suitor text message- she had long brown hair and a penchance for dictionaries: "I'm really busy. I'm sorry. Honestly I don't really have time for dates right now." I didn't ask to be single. Next up was sodas with pals, which made things better, at the end of the night a pretty girl was looking at me from across the room, I steeled myself and said hello to her, she said she was looking at me because I looked like a child rapist/killer from a movie she just saw, I kept my dignity and told her directly that it is probably not a nice thing for one to hear.
That day I had awoken full of joy and gusto which proved to me that I am not depressed, just that certain rejections (in all sorts of facets, such as artistic) affected me.
When I'd tell some people afterwards what had happened they'd feel a need to offer this sort of poor hard knuckle advice of 'suck it up', 'keep a going', 'it's all 90 percent rejection', 'don't take it personally' which caused me to wonder, "Do these people even stop to actually feel things?" It was hanging out with close pals the following eve that moved me further away from the noose (though a voice in the back of my head asks, "Is it really worth it to keep going?").
When I went off on my lil trip last month my confidence returned refreshed (a confidence that had previously waned for a few reasons) and now that I am back, these are just numerous little karate chops at it, trying to break me and test my resilience.
Yes, it is important to make contact, especially when you think someone may be looking at you.
I can say that I've had a world of such opportunities: missed and not missed but, more often than not, it is the confidence that grabs the latter. I've talked to many female friends in this burg who feel unattractive because no one even notices them and they are nice looking women!- maybe folks are just too caught up in their bullshit hustle bustle, I dunno, maybe it's people's fear. Does it hurt for someone to simply say, "You've got good style"?
On the topic of style, someone gave me weak advice to dress differently 'even as an experiment' and it just rings false and rather desperate (not to mention that it may have been a knock on my long cultivated appearance). Can you imagine? I automatically thought that if I'd taken that advice years ago I'd never have met some of my amazing friends and women I'd dated and fallen in love with, not to mention the fact that it'd cause one to feel extremely awkward and self-conscious. I hate to fall on appearances, but it is a mode of attraction that can lead honestly to personality. High standards must be maintained! Would I really want to attract someone that'd be into my new disguise? Gawwwd, what would we talk about? Careers? Here's a shit question: "What do you do?" Oh, and how much do you make? Sayonara. Let's call it a screening device (side note with wounded pride: as attractive and fascinating as the gals from my shitty shitty day were, their very natures were adequate enough as a screener, a 'I deserve -and have had- better' kinda nip-in-the-bud). I don't understand the taboo with one night stands, I've had more than my share but ask other folks and it's all poo-pooed, "Oh noooo, never!" However, I will say from experience, I'd never want a one night stand with someone I could barely stand! Standards must be maintained.
Forgive the lack of brevity but these are my thoughts on a day where the grey clouds are a little more busted and clarity is more apparent.

Oh, and we need a bassist. Thanks.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Hallow-recap and upcoming Henri Faberge show!

Dress up for Halloween?
Listen, honey, once you become a costume you never need wear one again, I put enough effort on stage and in the day-to-day attire anyways....

Saturday night Tim McCready had a pre-Halloween party and organised a performance of sacred harp singing! Sacred Harp singing! WOW! It is a type of singing that is so unearthly yet meant for the untrained singer. I found it a challenge. I mean I'm a rock n roll singer! But it felt good to get out of the comfort zone and do this kind of choral singing with ten people.

The same could be said for Halloween night. Getting into a zone and out of the comfort zone. It was my first collaboration with W.A. Davison- though we have been friends for a couple of years now and I dig his musical stylez. It was improvisatory, he used snippets of Halloween records altered along with keys.
This was done in a 'haunted house' set up by Henri Faberge, Juliann Wilding, and Joele Walinga. I love these guys and love being a part of their activities, they have good energy and good ideas! The house looked wild! Long red drapes for the entrance. Red lighting. Containers filled with teeth and such. Eerie performances.
I think our piece came off well, I lay naked under a sheer blue sheet on a creepy child's bed that was set up for the house. I imagined myself as a little girl who locked her mother in the basement, then as a creature who makes snakes that form occult formations come out of people's mouths . I could not see a thing but heard some idle chatter: grrrr, but was told after that it went well. Video soon?
A spur of the moment improvised garage rock jam happened in the basement with a member of The Bicycles, an intriguing woman, myself, and Lorenz Peter of Corpusse- man, I forgot about his garage organ roots, thought he was all about space synths! Lorenz and I had never jammed before and we'd known each other foreverrrr.
I asked people for song ideas and started singing about hairless cats, garbage removal, and gingivitis.
What a night.
One guy was dressed as Gary Wilson.

Back to Henri. He's got a big show on Thursday!Total multi-media! I'm in it as a left wing ranting hippy, check this info:
A theatrical serialization of Henri Fabergé's early years.

EPISODE II: Thursday, November 4th
Arbor Room (Hart House, U of T)



and many more!

Monday, October 25, 2010

"FOR THE LADIES" up now at Hunter and Cook site

In my recent moods I've been wondering about my life, it just gets darker and darker, has anything been furthered on my move to Toronto? I did say that I'd evaluate after two years. So I evaluate and get depressed. I go see a doctor. It's one of those doctors that believes in natural cures. He suggests to me, "Why don't you see this great clown that some rather 'in-the-know' friends have been telling me about? He will surely lift your spirits. His name is Robert Dayton." I yell at him, "Who you calling a clown, you quack!!!"

Anyways, Hunter and Cook Magazine has a BRAND new website:

They've featured six of ten examples from my "For The Ladies" series of art works.
Click here to see!

Yes, THE WORK IS FOR SALE, talk to me.
And, of course, the new ish features the first in-person in-depth interview with the force known as Tonetta that I did and wow...

Thursday, October 14, 2010


Maybe it was the allergies, maybe it was jetlag, maybe it was the weather, maybe it was everything! Coming back was most difficult...
...made easier when I saw the faces of loved ones, those pals that I adore.
Saw a bunch at an art opening curated by Jay Isaac at RUINS then ventured to a rock show.
I had choices. Choices. I was thinking about Joe Preston, hadn't seen that guy since the 90s! When I was visiting LA, and one day over coffee, Allison Wolfe brought his name up. "What happened to that guy?"
"He's doing a one man project called Thrones."
I get back to Canada days later and he's playing. I needed to see him.
Then that sweetheart who I need to hang out with more by the name of Sean Kennedy tells me that a guy named Midnight from Cleveland is playing at midnight with women draped on him as he shreds songs from his album "Total Fucking Midnight." Aw mannn, choices.
His MySpace page is here:

I hope to one day see Midnight.
I go see Thrones, bass guitar, burly man, mass pedals, man, eerie vocoderisms and attachments to be something spiritual, sparse drum machine punctures. Loud and needed.
unfortunately his vocal mic was not on for a couple songs. What the-?
This venue is a tragic one. Upstairs women are rendered unattractive by the fact that they are eating overpriced entrees of exotic meats (lamb heart, anyone?) guzzled down with wine. I have read quotations about them saying that it is 'punk' to do this. Downstairs the venue is made intentionally uncomfortable to replicate a DIY experience. Hmmm. Often DIY didn't set out to be uncomfortable, it was just we had to use whatever was at hand. This place is oozing money and yet went for a concrete bunker aesthetic. Fakery. I needed orthopedic shoes to hang out there. I'm not old...I'm not old....please...I'm not old...I just don't want my spine to curl up into a Golden Spiral even if it is in concordance with the universe! They have no stage, so short people have to use elbows with intention, also: shop lighting to sting the eyes! Must say this: friendly and hard working staff.
The local opener (and I don't feel like naming names, it doesn't do any good, I want to get at the underlying elements not single nouns out)played 'experimental metal' yet they were so by-the-books, playing it safe, people seemed to be into them, a small support group was held outside on a small patch of astro-turf laid out primarily for smokers. And me. As I bitched. Toronto, playing it safe...yeeeesh...

Two nights later. Sunday. I take it back. I see two Toronto acts that were great. Sure, they didn't have rock instrumentation or drums -just saying- they were great!
Six Heads had all of their stuff on a table and they'd just use some of it as needed for their improvised sounds...
Gastric Female Reflex is an appropriate name, two lads sucking on some amplified throat bits while using technology in an organic manner.
Bless em!
They both opened up for Rob from Climax Golden Twins from Seattle! I hadn't seen him perform in forever! Acoustic murder ballads, acoustic guitar chaos, loud drones, all of the above.
He was on a Sublime Frequencies tour, the label that documents as anti-purists the far reaching corners of the globe. We watched his doc on India which showed religious ecstacies on the bustling streets of India, nuclear reactors as a backdrop...

So I get all down on the safe TO music...but must keep in mind the great stuff that comes out of this city!
I share these links with you in hopes that you check it all out! And please turn me on to stuff as well...I want to know!
Six Heads:

Gastric Female Reflex:



Pony Da Look:

Romo Roto:


(a documentary about Corpusse just premiered at pop Montreal, it's made by the World Provider!!! I'm even interviewed...neat...! Can't wait to see it...)

I am also intrigued by recent acts Henri Faberge and Dentata...

...and then there's Tonetta! I just did the first in-person and indepth interview with this YouTube star in ish 7 of Hunter and Cook magazine and it comes out saturday nite at Paul Petro gallery on Queen: exciting!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

L.A. Vacation 4 : Endgame

Maybe I should have posted this sooner. I've been back for a week now and things are foggy....
One of my stand up comedy gigs was at Spaceland opening for Neil Hamburger. For such a desperate depressed guy, that guy has really helped a brother out time and time again over the years. How did it go? Great! Super well! And it was quite a strong bill.
Brody Stevens blew my mind with his intense inside riffing, I wanted to tell him how much I enjoyed his set but I was kinda scared of him:

And there were also the fine talents of Keith Lowell Jensen:

And *MAJOR ENTERTAINER* mike h whose new songs get catchier and catchier, he even sang a duet with Tom Green:

Afterwards Mike H stood between Tom Green and I and said that we both couldn't be more different from each other. I asked Mike to elaborate but he wouldn't.
I got to talking about the nature of being onstage with Keith Lowell Jensen's pal whose name I tragically forgot!!! Sorry. I told him that I was nervous- it was a good bill, and luckily I used the energy for the act. Keith's pal said I looked confident. Maybe being onstage so much in the past has helped. However. Being up there alone telling jokes is such a different beast, it takes adjusting, and this pal of Keith's really knew that, he had performed for years with a hardcore band and, I think, even a circus sideshow, so making the comedy switch is not always so seamless. It can be loooonely!
Tonight it only felt lonely just before hitting the stage...

If you are ever in LA stay at The Hollywood Inn.
read some reviews here

Bandmate Scott and I had accommodation shenanigans in that, through freak occurrences, we almost had no place to go. Luckily, a super kind benefactor bought us a room for 8 nites at the Hollywood Inn which sure beats staying out on the street! This benefactor has our eternal gratitude!
I do not want to sully this gratitude in any way but I've got to tell you tales. When our toilet stopped working the manager blamed us for it-twice! When the phones stopped working the manager simply said, "No outgoing calls."
Blood stains on the walls.
Numerous shady men appeared at this hotel with shady much younger women.
Here's the capper, my Toronto agent wanted me to tape an audition for Rogers (who, in a separate matter, were racking up my phone bill repeatedly calling about a mildly late internet bill) because the casting director asked for me specifically. I didn't have a camera or a computer! So I had to scramble, as well as prep my audition: very stressful. A rather lovely girl (sigh) that I'd just recently met asked a friend of hers to tape it for me. Success! End of story? No. Now the director wanted to talk to me on Skype. At 7 AM. More scrambling. More stress. Friends loaned me their Skype. I checked it out at the hotel and everything was working fine. Come the morning of the interview nothing worked, Scott helped me out, we tried everything. It was no use. Standing at the front desk was another sad sack with a non-functioning laptop and no desk clerk in sight. The hotel had somehow turned off their wireless. They also knew that I had an important interview that would gain me hundreds or more of dollars.
And as time slowly ran out, the audition people said something to the effect of, "We'll keep you in mind for future roles..."
Nearly in tears I stammered, "I am on vacation...I have done everything in my power...let me run to Starbucks."
Which I did. I did my audition all stressed out in the middle of a Starbucks.
What a miserable couple of days. Thankfully I have a great and understanding agent!
Did I get the role?
I heard that I lost it due to the insanity of that morning.
That is how the acting business works, by the way. They can always find somebody else, so if you can't make the audition happen then, well, tough cookie...

Okay, here's a happy note: my pal Simone took me for a workout with Richard Simmons.

He's a hoot!!! Sometimes it was hard to work out for laughing!
He commented on my heart shaped sweat stain and noted my distinct lack of rhythm. As an ice breaker, he tried guessing my favourite subject in school to no avail. "Chemistry? Math? Biology?" A few minutes later he asked the group if there were any singers in attendance.
Simone yelled, "Robert's a singer!"
"Oh, what do you sing?"
I retorted, "Anything without rhythm."

My pals Marika got me and a date some tickets to see John Carpenter speak at the massive and legendary Egyptian Theatre. I am a big John carpenter fan, however, they didn't even screen a 35 MM film copy of Escape From New York: it was blu-ray!!! During the Q and A, I wanted to ask a question that had been bugging me for years (What was his synopsis for Halloween 7 with Jamie Lee Curtis that was most unfortuantely rejected for being too weird?)but there were just too many questions, including a woman who just wanted to know how to be in his movies. As he left, a massive throng followed him with autograph pens in hand.
L.A. I love it. Sure it can be desperate. It can be kinda self-absorbed and kooky but so am I.
Coming back was hard. I packed a sweater but was still shivering.
My allergies kicked in badly when I landed in Toronto which helped to make me very depressed.
My ex sent me a nice e mail, it had been 8 months since telling her that I needed space to get over the relationship, the email was nice but it messed me up, I'd greatly inflated a "How are you?" in my mind and had difficulty in composing a reply.
Leaving the house, I'd smile at girls to no response, in talking to them aloofness reigned ("Meh...I'm on facebook..."), but that happens to all genders and persuasions in this city, I know, I've asked around.
I fell into a morass of self-pity, this time with confidence in my abilities.
People have been telling me that I should live in LA but it's just not that easy to move there. And, I wonder, would it make a positive difference on my career? An outlet?
The positive thing is that finally after a few days of being back I saw my pals and it was nice....
I will forge ahead as it is all I can do.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

L.A. Vacation 3

I have come to realise that when it comes to records and comic books-especially used or soiled ones- Toronto is a real Mecca (just check out the Toronto Comic Art Fair which happens once a year, Holy Moses...).
Los Angeles, not so much.
I hit Meltdown Comics because of its' large Dan Clowes designed sign and found... nothing. Nothing that I didn't already have, at least.
When I went to Amoeba Records five years ago it was awe staggering. This time around it was picked over. I did find a few Joe South albums. I love that Joe South. Love that rugged sensitive sound.

At one of The Dingaling nites I met the owner of The Black Tent Press label, who just put out a limited edition Tonetta single following the now sold out LP. This single is incredible! It's a totally immersive and dank environment that has a kind of groove to it, short and sweet on pink vinyl. It's been mixed and mastered to sound great, you can hear all the little things he does in the background while sometimes his voice is so sweatily close to your ear that it distorts, a tad different than the YouTube versions but still very Tonetta. Tonetta is the best thing to happen to music in years. Yes, he is strongly visual, he's YouTube famous! But these records show that he's a solid intuitive musician making clever arrangements from trashy musical elements, in even the dirtiest of songs he can make a unique turn of phrase, the songs are catchy and work well on their own.
Tonetta is 62.
Richard Sax Ross must be in his 40s or so.
I don't really believe this but, I have been stating that I will now discount the musical work made by people in their 20s. It's just only one decade in the person's life and if they are still making music afterwards then the wheat has been separated from the chaff.
I somewhat kid as a deliberately ageist reaction to ageism in pop.

I did find an amazing book in LA that I never knew existed! My pals Kim and Richard took me to a lending library started by a former NEA head of Lit in a more disadvantaged area of L.A. There's been library cutbacks made in L.A. so this storefront fulfills a service. Tucked into one shelf was this:

I am a big Terry Southern fan and The Loved One is one of my favourite motion picture comedies, it's a rather controlled zany film, made just before those star-laden comedies got zany for zany's sake. This book is full of crazy captions and glorious photos: the movie itself is a rare comedy that looks gorgeous (so does Dr. Strangelove which Southern also wrote).

And, yes, the original Evelyn Waugh novel is a work of greatness!

Kim and Richard run the Esotouric Bus Tours which does numerous theme tours such as Hotel Vice, Black Dahlia and more! They really know their stuff!
They took me to The International Church of the Foursquare Gospel, an old church founded by former revival tent preacher Aimee Semple McPherson. I got a sort of Elmer Gantry vibe from it. They would do elaborate pageants, give lots of food to the poor, and she even disappeared for a month to great controversy!

Kim's grandparents do a video blog and mentioned Lady GaGa in one episode. Because of this, one crazy company sent the grandparents one of their products: a Lady GagGag blow up doll. Luckily, the grandparents never saw it. To get this item out of their house, it was given to me. It looks nothing like Lady GaGa, not realistic at all, but in terms of basic blow up doll function, it does its' job, but is not nearly as good as an attractive woman.

Anyways. Kim and Richard do a regular salon at Clifton's. Clifton's is my dream cafeteria. It opened in 1931 with a mandate of no one being left unfed. The food is dirt cheap (goes right through you but I kinda like it) and the surroundings are wild! Wild life wild! Bears catching fish and other sights! There's even a small serenity chapel designed to look like it was cut out of a tree, with an ancient pre-recorded sermon and a lit tableaux of fake nature through plexiglass (it is a curious theme this emulation of nature in Christianity, and it is a recurring theme, I have Volumes one and two of albums entitled "The Birds Sing his Praise" which is a man whistling like birds overtop of organ music as a testament to God and creation).
Clifton's has just -just!- been bought by what people deem 'hipsters' , there is a fear that it will be gentrified, this is combined with a relief that it won't go out of business, I am curious to see how it plays out, it is a place for the disenfranchised (and always has been as the old photos show) so fingers are crossed.
I was fortunate enough to present my latest art works at this Salon.
Documented here:

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


Canada can't do Mexican food. L.A. sure can. I even had vegan Mexican. in regards to lard, I just didn't want to know.
I crashed everywhere from mansions behind the Marmont to Echo Valley apartment floors...and I'll say this: L.A. homes are niiiiice! Art Deco and Mexican influence! Easy on the allergies.
So after a coupla days I did Club Dingaling which is a Tuesday night thing put on by Don Bolles and Nora from Fancy Space People. It's a pretty special night where they get as wild and freaky as possible. I met Don many years ago where we bonded over records, he had talked me out of some LPs by an odd eerie female Christian ventriloquist that I saw as a child who forever scarred me. Don's got quite the Christian children's record collection. Much of the music he spun at Dingaling crossed over with what I'd spin at my Feelings nite, so it felt just like home! Maybe L.A. is. He also showed some insane VHS projections, usually of cheap puppets in Christmas pageants.
At this Dingaling I was performing solo doing a recitation as The Romantic. Sometimes when I perform solo I think that I am doing worse than I actually am. The sound was odd: I thought everyone was talking when it was actually the cigarette smokers outside audible through an open side door just off the stage! People told me later that the place was hushed! When I asked "Should I wrap this up?" a woman yelled, "Yes!" I replied, "I love it when women say yes."
I walked off feeling vulnerable.
But it actually went over well. People were into it. One fella came up to me and said, "I'm jaded and I really liked that."
But my act was weird for the too-cool-for-schoolers. I didn't think people finding a slow talking hushed romantic to be weird but it was! I honestly don't think of what I am doing as weird. I don't black out onstage or get naked anymore, I try not to push or force things. But it still comes off as weird.
With Hallmark I was striving for ballad oriented songcraft but people were saying that even Hallmark is weird! And I was trying to be normal and natural! I guess that's just the way it is.
Anyways I wanted to unwind and stick around at Dingaling to watch Shazzula Nebula from France play her set but my ride wanted to leave: bummer....
Back to Hallmark. Playing with people who are all totally committed to music, right into it, is such a good feeling! All five of us were crackling. Scott had flown out from Vancouver just to make this happen. We are an LA/Vancouver/Toronto group. The shows went smashingly! We were actually set to play Dingaling the following Tuesday but, alas, the police came crashing down and said that the club didn't have the proper paperwork for live music. It was completely out of our hands but we couldn't help but feel depressed.
A few days later we played a gallery and it went super well. Don showed up and after a few of our songs he started mad texting to set us up a show! And he did! We played on a terrific bill at a venue a few days later called Showcave. Don said we were like Jobriath if he was good, ha ha! The opening act was a guy called Richard Sax Ross, a lone man singing over backing tracks and playing electronic sax bathed obscured in blue lights...Night music. Had an 80s ballad style to it but his own rather earnest take. He had stopped playing music due to personal tragedy but people like Ariel Pink have encouraged him to go on and the world is better for it! I was amazed by him, simply amazed. I strongly urge you to check him out. We also played with seminal LA synth punkers Nervous Gender and a catchy set of songs by Steve Moramarco of Abe Lincoln Story! It was a great bill!
It truly felt great to play.
Someone was telling me how a lot of bands just don't have intensity and it's true. Both LA and Toronto are immersed in a kind of limp indie pop. Ten years ago I proposed the theory that if people dressed up to perform, the music would get interesting. I have been proven wrong many times of late. I wound up at one show with some indie popper in a long elaborate coat looking completely awkward singing his limp songs.
I want to perform great songs and make them crackle! And connect with the audience.
I so loved playing again, we all want to play again soon, maybe December in Vancouver, February in LA, I hope so, we love it, the Hallmark album sounds good and we want it to see the light of day! We believe in it!

I was also on a couple bills doing comedy.
Wayyyy out in Santa Monica is a house that converts its' garage once a month into a venue called The Comedy Carhole replete with chairs and lights! An AM radio is turned on and off for the comedians' entrances and exits. I luckily got the final bars of "Something" by the Beatles. The place was packed! I wandered into the house and saw maggots on the ceiling! Why? I don't know. Back to the garage. My set went super well but I had to jet away and on to the bus! Yes, the bus. They run in LA. They're actually not bad! Comfy seats, TVs, and every stop is announced, I made my way around mostly okay!
Of course I got lost and a lovely lady that I met picked me up and made sure I was okay, bless her heart!
Where did I have to jet off to? To see Kim Fowley sing "They're Coming to take Me away Ha Ha" at a birthday party.

Giddle Partridge introduced me to this looming figure with a pretty 20-something on his arm. I asked him how long it took him to record side two of Outrageous. "Fifteen minutes." He then told me that one man went mad and another committed suicide from making that album. Luckily I brought some grains of salt with me. It was an odd party. Rather aloof. People tripping out. Everyone dressed all freak beat. I felt under dressed. A fella said I looked like Holger Czukay from Can. Someone else at a Hallmark gig said I looked like Werner Herzog in the 70s. This felt good and alleviated all doubts about me shaving my moustache. It stays! The moustache stays!
But enough about me. This is my blog.

Monday, October 4, 2010


Toronto. Late August/ early September or so.
I was bummed out from a creative endeavour. Oh, it received a strong response from those who saw it but due to circumstances (time of year, lack of gallery promotion) nothing sold and I felt drained from all the energy I put into it, other projects temporarily set aside.
My day job contract was ending.
I needed to get away to L.A.
For good? Oh, how I wish that were feasible, I am at Canada endgame: Toronto, the last place within the borders, thousands of dollars and much paperwork is needed to leave this country.
Jessica, my bandmate in Hallmark lives in LA, she really wanted me to come out and get the band going again. I was all for that. Committed. It should blossom and grow, not wither and die. It had been a year since I performed a full set of music!
What do we sound like? Here:

Vacations can inspire and recharge and possibilities can be explored.

Sept. 9th
On the flight over a pretty young lady was getting set to do something exciting at the VMAs (Video Music Awards) which apparently were happening that weekend. She smiled at me. I would have tried chatting with her but her attention was taken by a video blogger, helping her out, also attending the awards. I was left to eavesdrop over idle gossip about popstars that I'd never heard of. Still...she smiled. This was a good sign.

No walls.
I found this on my trip. Was it because I was in vacation mode? Approachability. Is this a West Coast thing? An American thing? A West Coast American thing?
I am making a list of the most Romantic places in Canada:
#1. Montreal
#2. Vancouver
#3......I stall.....
I found from my stay that these women who smile, who sometimes even approach me in LA, what a feeling they give. It doesn't matter who smiles first, it feels good. That chopped liver feeling was fading away.
Due to eyeglasses, my peripheral vision is crap but now I see glimmers out of the corner of my eye, I am usually so oblivious, too self-absorbed to notice people noticing me. And I must notice them. I must bring romance back with me as Toronto needs it, Canada needs it. I must smile more, compliment more. And use it in all my affairs! I hope that I can bring this back, this feeling and use it, not get self-conscious by my surroundings but use that little light within to shine.
The sun in LA was shining! A heatwave was had but, I didn't mind (although I worried for those who could suffer death or injury from heat exhaustion). That's what little canary yellow short shorts are for. Who's going to look at a bald spot sunburn anyways?

Jessica picked me up from the airport and she drove me straight to some Mexican food done right.

Sept. 10th
I hung out with my pal Mike Hickey. Coffee in Silver Lake which is near Echo Park where I was crashing. Echo Park is gentrifying but still a wonderful neighbourhood. Silver Lake is gentrified. Everyone gratuitously uses the word 'hipster' here and as it is a word of flux, they usually use it to mean 'young person with money, occasional purple V neck tees.'

Sept. 11th
Can I remember the day-by-day? I don't know. I really don't.
Mike, his girlfriend Marika, and I got tacos with our pals Gregg and Simone. Who's the first person I randomly see in LA? George Hamilton? No. Tony Curtis? No. Then who? My ex girlfriend's best friend. He's great, a sweetheart, yes, but it still felt kinda painful, and I had to ask how my ex-girlfriend was, of course.

Mike, Marika, and I make our way to a free show. Lots of free shows in LA. the legendary Don Bolles (The Germs, Celebrity Skin, 45 Grave, and-most currently-Fancy Space People who are awesome!!! check this: ) was playing an early Alice Cooper tribute, stuff from the crazier first couple albums! I love Alice Coop and hadn't seen Don in yearrrrs. Was it good? Yeah, they totally captured that sound!

Sept. 12th
Sundays are nice.

Sept. 13th
So are Mondays. I really should have kept notes.

More to come...

Thursday, September 9, 2010


This appeared in the last issue of Paper Rodeo....
Moral obscure.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


In trying to shrink my ego (life long process) I notice that I namedrop too much, usually names that nobody knows, so here's some names everyone knows: Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, John A McDonald, Lady GaGa, The Smurfs....

In keeping with that humble spirit, enjoy this drawing of a gal and her guitar....

Friday, September 3, 2010

Last couple of days of art show...

"For The Ladies" new works by Robert Dayton, Junior.
The art show is up until September 5th...

Gallery Hours: Wed -Sun (1- 6pm)

50 Gladstone Avenue
...Toronto, M6J 3K6



Monday, August 23, 2010

The Return Of FEELINGS to Toronto...with prizes: Thurs, Aug 26

Nice to be doing this again...
The Ossington, 61 Ossington, 9 pm to laterish
With D.J. Body Beautiful and a midnight candlelight night recitation by Robert Dayton, Junior
NO LONGER EVERY WEEK! NO ONE KNOWS WHEN WE'LL STRIKE AGAIN! September? No, I'm busy exploring other cultures (ie. performing in L.A.) giving lavender to the needy that month.
So come to this Thursday, August 26th....we have everything to give and nothing to lose because we've lost everything.
We have been asked to return from our sojourn.... We are rested. During this time of reflecting upon our time of reflection called FEELINGS.
Have you experienced loss?
We are your gain.

(our new sponsor EYESORE CINEMA has provided us with PRIIIZES!!!! and projections (astral)).

I do this for you, there is nothing else like this, the mood of the room is shaped by what I provide, I am so honed like a beam of light that the Midnight Candlelight Recitation will be intensely fashioned and crafted going to` places unexpected. I will make love to you with my voice and soul and musical selections, I don't care who you are, NO COVER but the cover of night.
Your life energies need us, this is a nice city but a tad stiff, it needs a massage, my hands can do that, lower, lower, lower, lower....
My Midnight Candlelight recitation is always a hit with the people! What are recitations? Intense spoken reflections of the soul in a romantic manner. We are here to help you get through this mortal life. Have a request? I will fulfill you in a voice that has been trained and honed from the deepest core of my being. Close your eyes? Is this a record? No, it's me talking to you right now, there'll be records after. And before.

Bask in them....

With DJ Body Beautiful plus guests

FEELINGS is a special night where we spin music that you probably won’t normally hear. A boutique mix of :
With a midnight candlelight night recitation by Robert Dayton, Junior

This will be ...special.

To Hurting People

Since we are struggling with pain, even at this moment, we have first hand knowledge of what it is like to experience the silence of God. Sometimes the immense loneliness of pain-whether physical, mental or emotional-is completely overwhelming!
As you listen to us spin, let the music wash over your brokenness as great healing waves of God’s merciful love until you hear the music once again.

From our hearts to yours,
D.J. Body Beautiful...and our new special friend -----Eyesore Cinema

Thursday, August 19, 2010


"For The Ladies" new works by Robert Dayton, Junior.
So the opening happened, the art show is up until September 5th...
If you haven't seen it yet, c'mon down...
Gallery Hours: Wed -Sun (1- 6pm)
It isn't listed in any press or blogs or anything so feel free to tell your pals. I'd love for people to see it, maybe even buy a piece or ten! Whoah! Yeahhhhh, believe it or not, the work actually looks sellable (documentation up soon).
For those who've seen it, the response has been good, it may be some of my more resolved work, ten full colour pieces. As usual, it's overly ambitious, leading to post-partum but don't let that taint the joy of the work itself.

50 Gladstone Avenue
...Toronto, M6J 3K6


Monday, August 9, 2010

"For The Ladies": New Works by Robert Dayton

Gahhh, got the work done, very stoked, please come if ya can!!!

"For The Ladies" by Robert Dayton
Opening Reception - Saturday, August 14, 2010 - 2 - 6 pm
8/11/2010 - 9/5/2010
50 Gladstone Avenue
...Toronto, M6J 3K6
Gallery Hours: Wed -Sun (1- 6pm)

With "For The Ladies" I conducted a public survey where I asked anyone- no matter their gender or if gender- who identifies as a lady: "What would you, as a lady, like to see depicted in my art (or, more simply, art in general)?"
I then proceeded to make work based on as many of those responses as I could muster, sometimes even combining a few responses into one piece. What were the responses? You'll just have to find out for yourself!
My intent was to make art as an active form of communication.
I wanted to make work that is hopefully without any form of posturing of machismo. I have a personal dissatisfaction with some elements of masculine culture. See, I do not readily identify with certain masculine tropes- are we binary? Can one dwell in the grey areas between feminine and masculine tropes? Admittedly, once one gets into gender issues, it gets thorny. Is gender dying? I am straightish whiteish maleish but how often do I feel that way? Do I feel like a lady? Should I be more conscious of my identity in the world? LOADED! Let's keep it light.

This show has a playful tone, my work is playful.
I also wanted to bring out some of the more romantic elements of my work. Utilizing the responses I received, these works on paper use my standard tools of pen and ink and water colours. I've been pretty deeply affected by the early 70s glam revival of art deco and have used that palette in this show and in many aspects of my life.

If you need to use high resolution files please send us an email:
Further info e mail:

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Hey folks, wrote a slew of comix reviews- a lot of really great stuff!- over at Roctober.
The link is here:

Sunday, August 1, 2010

MIXED FEELINGS with MYTHS tuesday Aug 4th,

The Ossington (61 Ossington, Toronto)
Tuesday, August 4th...
A special Mixed FEELINGS with
From Vancouver: MYTHS
Midnight Candlelight recitation by Robert Dayton, Junior
DJ Body Beautiful will spin sounds before and in-between.
NO COVER but the cover of night (but a hat will be passed as they are from out of town)...
MYTHS is on at Ten PM

Check em oot:


As it'snot really a FEELINGS nite my selections may be more, er, erratic in keeping with theme of our touring performers....

Friday, July 30, 2010

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Monday, July 26, 2010

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


I am so eggcited for this special nite and my pal Otis Fodder will be my special guest deejaying as DJ Summertime Smile.
July 24th, Casa Del Popolo (4873 Boulevard Saint Laurent), 10 pm- 3 am
No cover but the cover of night...

Bask in them....
FEELINGS is a special night where we spin music that you probably won’t normally hear...

Midnight candlelight night recitation by Robert Dayton, Junior.
DJ Body Beautiful and special friend DJ Summertime Smile will spin a boutique mix of :

This will be ...special.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Friday, July 16, 2010

The Turtles- Battle Of the Bands

The Turtles? Yes, they were under-rated especially with this album where they pretended to be about 10 different bands! I met Mark Volman once, I was in awe....

Lindsey Buckingham- Go Insane

This album can be found for 50 cents and it's GREAT!Uber-slick 80s production, some hits, yet-yet!-he truly sounds like he's Going Insane! By the BEST Fleetwood Mac member and has a suite for Dennis Wilson...

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

From same place as previous post. Dwight Twilley- Sincerely, a great power-pop album.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Done for an ish of Roctober for Gary Pig Gold(who put out the 1st Simply Saucer single wayyy back when)'s list of albums you need to own. And, yes, you do need to own this album....

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Saturday, June 26, 2010


This humidity makes everything so heavy, even sleeping is a drudge task. Boss gave us the day off work on Friday. A day to just stay still if possible and say,"No more please" to the world. I stick close to home. Stepping outside, the air hangs with the stench of garbage as endless honking assaults me. So this is the outside world? I want peace. Apparently this honking is to celebrate a sporting event of some sort, is it? Really? The cars are all festooned with flags of disrespective countries. Are they foreign dignitaries? They act like assholes, these visiting dignitaries here for the G20 conference. Downtown is a ghost town, people are too scared to be downtown where armed police stand in packs. I tell my Mother my fear of working downtown, she thinks they will protect me. No. I need protection from them if I am in the wrong place at the wrong time. I work on the 16th floor.
Wednesday. Water moved in my glass. An ominous feeling of reality shifting. I believe that the military is trying out a sonic weapon on us! "Let's go!", I yell to my co-worker Karla. No elevator, take the stairs, 16 flights. She has to take her heels off, I attempt to undo one.
It was just an earthquake.
Tuesday. A great bookstore has its' locks changed due to back-rent, they've been around for thirty years, two generations.
The skies are overcast. I get a text message mere moments after writing a morbid joke. A great lady I know has died, I just visited her last week and was going to this week, too young. It saddens me, I think of the loss that her loved ones go through, and then the loss the community and the city will go through. She was that kind of gal.
Thinking on this for a while, then a friend calls and tells me that he is moving back to Vancouver, although he is uncertain of his choice, we hang out a lot, we talk of this and the oil spill and its' devastating environmental impact, rains of oil, how he read that Russian scientists stated how the chemical used to treat it will wreak utter destruction on the East Coast.
Thursday. Taking my mind off everything, the sadness of death and the mood of the city, this friend, another friend and I drive to Niagara Falls to see natural beauty in all its'glory, its' uncomprehending vastness, we get so close that we get wet, it surrounds us, it is surrounded by man-made monstrosities. These are behemoths akin to Reno. Yards away from rumbling splendour, one can pay to get a photo taken in front of a fake Niagara Falls backdrop. One can pay to see Niagara Falls in iMAX.In 3-D/4-D, what does that mean? Does one get to view four dimensions in three? Will it simplify and demystify things for us? We pay to enter a shoddy wax museum, one of several, this one is of crime and murder and slightly off the path. Flawed craftmanship,typos, succinct overviews of notorious figures who look somewhat off and not quite fully-formed.It is appreciated.

Friday, June 18, 2010


If I built me an Iron Man suit would it make me less sensitive?
I'm too sensitive! Wayyyy too sensitive!
Like an exposed wound.
I can feel emotional jabs in my heart.
Case in point, I left a show early the other week that I performed at, not wanting to face anyone. I thought that I had bombed. From the stage one cannot see the crowd, makes one feel insular, a disconnect. I get home and realise, "Oh! They were laughing!" I see some people a week later, "We were laughing!" And if they weren't? So? Just another night. An experience. I need me some thicker skin.I do good work, I've paid my dues (I even have a tag on my shoe that Balogh gave which says exactly that).
Another case in point, I put in my dayplanner that the old New Pornographers were coming to town on Tuesday. Tho I'd done plenty of stuff with them, I actually hadn't seen them perform live for eight years, maybe not since Canned Hamm hosted that one show they did where I wound up getting the most vile pair of panties thrown at me onstage. As The NPers played on, I paraded around with that pair on my head oblivious to the fact that the owner maybe should have gone to the doctor.
Day of their show, day turns to nite, I putter about my apartment, no response. My pal Paul calls me from backstage, hands the phone to Dan and they're about to go on and all I can do is whine, "I wanted to see you all! I put it in my dayplanner!" Then I go to bed feeling forgotten. Yesterday, I find out that they were all wondering where I was, why was I not hanging with them? Welllll, I was at home thinking that they didn't care about me, that I didn't matter to them no more, self-pity self-pity, etcetera, etcetera...Crossed wires, if only they thought to put my name at the door, hmmm, maybe it was.
I still wished I'd been there, hang out and catch up, apparently it was a great show.

I try my best to forge forward but I can get reflective, some folks I have known forever, too much has happened to ever let go, there's a bond. Do I miss Vancouver? I miss many of those people, many scattered; living in Toronto now, I do get to see quite a few folks.

A book was sent to me. Confessions Of A Local Celebrity by Mike Soret. Great title and a great looking book. Funny read, funny music book, first hand tales of reaching for the top and not getting there. Well, his band was called The Molestics. We were also in a band together called Zarathruster in 1991 and July Fourth Toilet played many shows with The Molestics. This book is ascerbic and honest and he just doesn't care who he may offend cuz he's done. Do I agree with everything he says about me in it? No. But it's not my book. it's his book. But reading these mentions of me felt like a weird time capsule, a sorta "Oh yeah, that was me in the 90s."
He writes, "Rob Dayton, who had a band called July Fourth Toilet and who was as legendary for being broke-ass as for his drinking..." and "He's made a career of being a caricature of himself..." Etc etc..
Caricature? No, it's called being iconic, darling. That's why my personal style is in perpetual mothballs. Ha!
He does have some truth to that. Those two quotes go hand-in-hand. Ahh, this book is simply a reminder of why I had to stop the booze! I certainly feel more nuanced today, even though back then there'd be soul baring- is soul baring a characteristic of caricature? I know what he means and it makes sense, many nights of stumbling shenanigans can make for some broad brush strokes! At one point I took to calling myself The Grand Wizzard of Debauchery which never caught on with anyone but me.
He also says some very nice things about me in his book but that's irrelevant to this blog post.
I was quite entertained by that lil tome and anyone who has any interest in the bottom rungs of show biz had best give it a read! Pure honesty! Worst thing about it? He keeps calling me Rob in it. Rob? I don't steal, I give.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Gordon Jump! How High?: A Very Special Episode

Upon the recent death of Gary Coleman, my pal Lou asked me to dig up an old column that I wrote about Gordon Jump. For several years I wrote a regular column entitled Robert Dayton's Going For It for a free Vancouver weekly. When my carte blanche left, I left (they refused to print my 3 column series about my cock, alas, only the first part saw print), they also didn't pay their contributors: a big no-no considering others (editors, ad reps, et al) were getting paid! My advice to you if you are a creative: get paid! By not getting paid you are under-valuing others in the industry and thus taking away work. I see big name blogs with advertising not paying for content. THIS IS WRONG! I blog here for free cuz no one else is making any coin off of me,just me...
Any ways, enjoy this classick column from a few years back...

The downtown Vancouver Eaton’s has really got the lead on free En’tainment. In the past they have had breakdancers, lingerie shows, living mannequins, and a French man playing an accordion. How did I know that he was French? Ohhh, the tell-tale signs were there: the beret, the striped shirt. But there was one special day that will be forever etched in my memory. April 12th, 2001. The day The Maytag Repairmen came to town. This special in-store featured Gordon Jump, who replaced the late Jessie White as Maytag Repairman in 1989 (before that he was portrayed by Tom Pedi), and his new buddy, the young and buff Mark Devine. Gordon Jump is best known for portraying Mr. Carlson, the station boss from the TV sitcom WKRP In Cincinnati. But it was his guest-starring role on Diff’rent Strokes that truly invaded my psyche.
Diff’rent Strokes was a sitcom that was inherently racist in its’ setup. An 80s materialistic escape fantasy where a rich, white man- Mr. Drummond- adopts two wise cracking black kids named Arnold and Willis as pets. Every episode would have some sort of forced moral. And then there were the “Very Special Episodes” such as The Bicycle Man, a two-parter written by two former WKRP writers with Gordon Jump as the title character, Mr.Horton. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it but I’ll rely on my memories, friends’ memories, and the glorious internet.
One day Arnold and his friend Dudley go over to Mr. Horton’s bicycle shop for a visit. These kinds of shops are very popular with the children. Mr. Horton gives the boys booze and then persuades them to bounce up and down on the bed with their shirts off. Before they leave, he gives them gum to cover up their breath. The next time they visit he shows them a dirty cartoon where a mouse drops his pants! “It’s not dirty. It’s adult. We’re all adults,” says Mr. Horton. Arnold gets upset and leaves. Mr. Drummond finds out what’s been happening. I distinctly remember him getting so upset that he swears! A close-up of his face going, “What the Hell is going on here?!?!” He calls the cops and Dudley’s parents. After giving him a pill, Mr. Horton decides to play a game called “Neptune, King Of The Sea” with Dudley in the tub. Before this game happens, the police arrive. Dudley says, “He tried to...he tried to touch me.” The show ends with The Drummonds discussing the issues of child molestation.
However, due to the nature of the medium, this serious issue became somewhat trivialized with the show’s cheap set and always prevalent laugh track. The effects of child sexual abuse don’t disappear after two weeks but off Arnold and Co. would go obliviously skipping onto more “very special episodes” involving cigarettes, height issues, and Nancy Reagan. But it was effective- child abuse just wasn’t talked about so much back then. And lots of people do remember this two-parter.
Back to Eaton’s. Unlike most people, I have a good rapport with celebrities. We see each other eye-to-eye, we’re equals, I knew that meeting Gordon Jump would be no problem. Both Maytag Repairmen were signing glossies for the crowd. I approached Mr.Jump and asked him about The Bicycle Man. He was very cordial and in a quiet, pleasant tone of voice said, “That was a real gamble. You never know whether you have done the right thing or not because people could look at us on television and think that’s really us.”
“Just the other day I went to a large store where they sell stuff to new mothers. This young girl came up to me with tears in her eyes. She said, ‘Are you Gordon Jump?’ I said, ’I sure am.’ She said,’Would you mind if I could give you a hug and thank you for what you did for me years ago?’ I said, ‘No. What had I done for you years ago?’ She said, ’You did an episode of Diff’rent Strokes. That episode changed my entire life.’ And al of a sudden I realized that this business is really far more special than we sometimes give it credit for.”
I told him, ”I was a kid when I saw it and I didn’t know anything about that stuff.”
He responded, “It gives you an open forum so everybody’s talking about it and that’s what it was designed for.”
Mark Devine, the young Maytag Repairman joined in and said, “It’s weird how it sticks in your mind, too .I remember seeing the episode. I didn’t understand it but now...”

Thanks to Ted Dave for interview documentation.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


Toronto can be a good city in many ways, there's some good people, some old friends, but there's also plenty (a tonne) of people that not only won't call you, they also won't return your calls: keep all expectations at rock bottom, it's not you (no, really, it's not, you pathetic, pathetic self-absorbed shell), they're flaky (and they don't even have the wacky tobacky of the West Coast to fall back on as an excuse)(and as much as you try to not take it personally, it burrrrrns because it seems to happen, oh, just about all the time to the point that you are thinking of writing off all new people entirely, all that time and energy wasted might be best spent working on projects alone, such as building a wall). Perhaps this is not a Toronto thing, perhaps it is a wide-spread modern malady of declining courtesies due to technological developments (text messaging, Facebook, cell phones, computers, blogs-uh ohhhhh) causing A.D.D. I will test this theory out by visiting Waterloo for just one night. Has the malady spread there? Is it a Toronto only thing, an Ontario thing, a world-wide thing or what?
Find out as I hit the stage opening for Neil Hamburger along with Daiquiri this Thursday, June 10th, 2010 at the Starlight (47A King Street North, Waterloo, ON).
I've never been to Waterloo. Could be...curious. An Ontario town named after the place of Napoleon's defeat. Could be a great show. Yet another opportunity to become a phoenix.
This is my only show with Neil.
I really miss performing with him. It's been a few years and we'd done lots and lots of tours together. I miss touring. I miss dodgy hotels with curiously unattractive women knocking at the door at 2 AM hoping to bottom-feed on the desperation of anonymous strangers. Does driving an hour to Waterloo count as touring?
Unfamiliar with the legendary Neil Hamburger?

Thursday, June 3, 2010


Performing at The Joke Club nite tonite, Thursday, June 3rd, 9:30 PM, The Comedy Bar (945 Bloor West) as "The Romantic" so if ya missed it the other week....
It's the Special Early June Edition featuring Gilson Lubin, Jeff Mcenery, Ladystache, Peter Stevens, Terry Clement, Eric Bud, me, and more!And hosted by that sweety Nick Flanagan
I'm also performing my favourite Alex Chilton song with Henri Faberge (he has the best name, like, ever), the wonderful Dana Snell, and who knows who else as part of The 1979 Show happening Sunday, June 6th at The Magpie (831 Dundas Street West- just West of Bathurst), 10ish. It's a show of songs that came out in 1979 cuz one of the organizers was conceived that year!!! They also did that Nilsson trib last month which was pretty great.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

First 38 Birthdays

I originally wrote this piece as "First 30 Birthdays" for print in my regular newspaper column "Going For It." It has now been revised and updated....

In writing autobiographies it is difficult to remember details. Some are fudged. Let’s go back to your childhood. Capture a particular day that happens every year and trace it to the present. Like a birthday. The birthday is the most important day, it belongs to you, it’s yours. Although I have a bad memory for dates, people’s birthdays are the best! For this piece I have decided to trace every single birthday that I have had, with the help of my Mom for the first few.

Age 0: I was a caesarean section. No labour for my mother. I didn’t know this until now but my birthday was picked out over a two-week period. I was the fourth and youngest of boys, just boys. My Mom chose my Aunt Bertha’s birthday of May 30th. My Aunt said to my Mom, "Supposed to get a girl."
Age 1 and 2: Family parties.
Age 3: Picnic with cake. Though my Mom didn’t say, I think she was single at this point spelling out many days of powdered milk with which to wash down the cake.
Age 4: Small birthday party with four little friends including, says my Mom, "…Two little girls from across the street."
"I don’t remember them."
"Don’t you? You played with them all the time."
Age 5: Says my Mom, "You invited four little girls and one little boy. You had fortune balloons. Everyone had to jump on the balloons to break the balloons to get your fortunes read."
"What were the fortunes?"
"Whatever I could make up. That you were going to take a trip or get a new outfit." I did get sent a new outfit from my birth-Dad, it was itchy with too many buckles. I hated it.
Age 6: I remember my Step Dad, who wasn’t married to my Mom yet, becoming my Dad around this time. He snuck into my room and took a polaroid of me dancing to songs from the Dumbo soundtrack with a paper bag on my head.
Age 7: "For one birthday, I think your seventh, you got a great big robot." A Shogun Warrior that shot plastic bullets from its’ chest. All of the bullets got lost within three months, of course.
Age 8: "You invited 12 kids!” Except Kenny- him and Steve were fighting. They made up but it was too late to invite them both. My brother Frank ran the fish-pond. My birth-Dad sent me a giant plush Smurf doll that, years later, was turned into a Smurf-skin rug by my friend Chris.
Age 9: My Mom: "I know we went rollerskating. The whole kaboodle of us. A Hell of a go. Most of us had never been rollerskating before…and neither had I!"
Age 10: I had a broken foot. I pouted as my friends played. I should never have jumped off of that fort! It was too risky! And it ruined my birthday!
Age 11: Don’t remember.
Age 12: I wanted a pie fight but was told it was too messy. I was really into old slapstick. And I had a Jack Benny obsession.
Age 13: Got mocked by friends for renting The Muppets Take Manhattan but that movie marked the first appearance of The Muppet Babies! A real milestone.
Age 14: Tried to rent Devil Dog, Hound of Hell but my Mom made me take it back before we could even watch it due to its’ questionable scary content. Renting movies was a real novelty at this point.
Age 15: Don’t remember.
Age 16: As a member of student council, I invited the rest of them over for my birthday party. My mom made cheesecake. My friend Colin Gilberstad came, too. He hid in the freezer, jumped out at a pivotal moment, and we broke into a lyp-synch of a "Weird Al" Yankovic song together. We were really into lyp-synchs. Years later, I bumped into “Weird Al” Yankovich at a vegetarian restaurant and told him about these lyp-synchs to his music. He said, “Really? What’s your name?” I told him my name. He shook my hand. “Weird Al” is a very nice man.
Age 17: My rowdy friends and I had an official McDonald’s birthday party normally reserved for young children. People sneered at us, we had fun. We were goofs.
Age 18: Don’t remember.
Age 19: Most likely involved drinking far too much and dancing to the recorded music of The Red Hot Chili Peppers at the Northwoods Inn.
Age 20: Ditto. But with acid as well.
Age 21: Working up in Fort Nelson. A co-worker made me a fish dinner that I puked up on the air vent in the bar that we all went to later on in the night. For this I was asked to leave, even though I said, between burping and coughing as the bouncer backed away from me, “I’ll clean it up.” I was wearing a bright coloured sports coat. Outside, some hicks in a big truck looked at me, laughed, and said, "Are you in some kind of clown show? Heh heh heh." I hate Fort Nelson.
Age 22: Vancouver. When asked my age I curtly reply, "Old enough to know better." Just started dating my first love, who bought me dinner, she tells me that she’s falling for me. And me for her.
Age 23: My first love made me a mix tape.
Age 24: Most likely spent with my first love.
Age 25: I was devastatingly single and crashing at the gloriously named Bastard House where everyone was somehow really fucked up, a transitional point for all of us. They threw me a party. My friend and band-mate Julian showed up with a Mike Nesmith album for me. Met my friend Victoria for the first time.
Age 26: Don’t remember.
Age 27: My birthday party was held the night before my birthday at the late, lamented Pig & Whistle. Lotsa people, including my brother Frank who bought me scotch. I sang on stage for an hour. After that, a few of us went to a mellow party where I broke a pinata given to me by my friends Claire and Louise. It was full of soya sauce which burst and exploded everywhere. Uh oh! Claire and Louise later explained that, as a bachelor, they put in such items as soya sauce as I would need it for my home.
One member of my rowdy entourage attempted to steal a framed Kiss photo that was photographed by the person who lived there. The almost-thief got his head punched in by the photographer. The frame was cracked and I had to later try to track down money for the frame. The person who threw the party still won’t speak to me. The next day I met a girl that I was to get obsessed/entangled with.
Age 28: Badly spent with the girl I met last birthday. I was at the very depths of obsession with her. I was a confused wannabe boyfriend with touchy-feely tendencies that fed on her attentions. The night culminated in a lot of tears and her yelling at me on the sidewalk. Luckily, I would never hit those kinds of depths ever again.
Age 29: Off the anti-depressants and ready to do karaoke at The Dufferin Hotel Lounge, a legendary gay establishment. I felt better than I had felt in years. Bobby, the bartender, gave me the stuffed bear I sang with. Someone there warned me of blood and semen stains on it but I didn’t care. My friends Cory and Macey gave me a prosthetic ear. I was showing off a great haircut from my personal stylist. My friend Dean gave me a big bag of awesome clothes.
Age 30: Everybody says that Thirty is supposed to mean something. What? What does it mean? Why is it important? My 30th birthday was spent on tour in Australia with Canned Hamm, the act that I sing and dance in, opening for The World’s Funnyman Neil Hamburger. I had the most delicious vegan cake then we all went to sing karaoke. The possibilities, at this point in my life, seemed endless. It felt like I had nowhere to go but up. The expected 30th birthday life crises did not appear to me because of this.
Age 31: My Mother was in town. And she bought dinner for all of my friends at the Buddhist vegetarian restaurant. My brother Frank showed up but he made it plainly clear that he only eats meat. My girlfriend Charlotte wasn’t there; I think it was because she was scared to meet my mother.
Age 32: karaoke with pals.
Age 33: Most likely karaoke with pals.
Age 34: I was no longer drinking so I believe that I tried to have a mellow dinner with my girlfriend Charlotte.
Age 35: The crises that were expected to happen with my 30th birthday happened here. All the possibilities seemed not so endless now, there was an air of uncertainty. I had made some serious life changes, I was surrounded by some wonderful long-time pals at my karaoke party, yet Vancouver seemed to be holding me back. More changes needed to happen. My new girlfriend Heather was out of town which made me sad as well. Afterwards I went to The Royal Unicorn club for dancing with my pals Sonja Ahlers and her pal who gave me a energy crystal. The crowd was so young that it scared them away before they even got in the door. This was indicative of Vancouver. Something had to give.
Age 36: Glow-in-the-dark party bowling! Heather and I did romantic stuff, she bought me a nice dinner after visiting her parents. She gave me clothes that I thought, at first, were too conservative but then started wearing lots, I told her that I am like that with all gifts from loved ones: approach with caution then embrace. Lots of synth players at bowling: Szam, Blaine, Scott and a couple more.
Age 37: Trish’s backyard BBQ. A tad too cold but what the hey. Cindy and Reg gave me a pair of translucent nylon ribbed navy and red patterned socks, the kind that old bluesmen and pimps wear. Were there murmurs of Heather moving, putting our relationship in a tentative stage?
Age 38: First single birthday in years but it was okay! Really. Sonja threw a party at Grant Heaps and celebrated the birthdays of me and Shari Boyle (who was wearing her "Over the Edge" style over-alls) as we have birthdays close to each other, we blew out each other's candles on the decadent cakes that Elisa made. Earlier in the day the ladies at the office bought cupcakes and sang Happy birthday! Jopelle gave me two cacti that looked like Laurel and Hardy-perfect bachelor plant! Shea gave me a classic Ditko Dr. Strange comic book.